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Archive for May, 2008

High school reunion coming up. My class had some of the brightest kids ever. And then there was Darren.

Darren was a real class clown. Found fun in the oddest ways. In chemistry class one fine spring day, Darren decided he just had to get his hands on some of that chemical that the teacher had said would catch fire if exposed to liquid. When Mr. Burns had to leave the room for a few minutes, Darren saw his opportunity. He snitched some from the cabinet where it was stored, slipped it in his shirt pocket, then sat throught the rest of class, excited if somewhat nervous. Bell finally rang, class was over, and Darren made a mad dash through the classroom door. All his guy friends who knew what he had done crowded around him, not ten feet from the room from which he had just escaped, all congratulating him on his daring escapade.

Suddenly, the huge grin on Darren’s face froze. Smoke began curling around his ears. Everybody jumped back. An ear-piercing scream rose from Darren’s throat and reached all the way down the hall to principal Downer’s office. A hall full of bug-eyed students suddenly realized what had happened. Darren was on fire!! He tugged frantically at his jacket, trying to remove it. It was in flames.. His nylon shirt was melting into his skin. Poor Darren had oozed so much sweat waiting for class to end that it had mixed with the chemical, and poof, he had gone up in smoke!

Fortunately, his burns healed. The whole class had to suffer through lectures from both Mr Burns and Principal Downer, to say nothing of extra homework and a week of pop tests. But we all agreed on one thing.
It was the best chemistry experiment we ever saw.

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